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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| According to Buddhism, it is not reality that brings suffering, it is our attachment to illusions that does. | | |
| don't waste your potential on what you can only have limited success with at best.
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| we are all vulnerable. nothing great ever came without sacrifice. fight for what you want, but know that you shouldn't fight for something that does not want to be fought for.
just some random thoughts...my brother's getting all philosophical with me right now. we're just in that mindset. some good shit bro.
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| all i need is an answer. positive or negative matters not...just a solid, definitive, HONEST answer. don't worry about my feelings. as long as i know i'm getting the truth, i'll be ok. damn dude...i'm not trying to make you my boyfriend right now. i don't know you well enough for that. i just wanna know if there's a potential there or not. i wanna know if the feeling is mutual and if we should proceed...or, if the feeling is not mutual, let's cut our losses and go on merrily as friends. not a big deal. i wanna know if you wanna spend more time together...talk more...get to know each other better...you know, things we SHOULD have been doing all this time...
if i feel something is worth it, i will put in the effort. i'll drive, i'll move around my schedule, i'll stay up late to talk...whatever it takes...but it needs to be reciprocated. i'm not about the whole one-sided deal...uh uh...definitely NOT the business. girls do not chase. no no no...that's a boy's job. we can't run in heels...not for very long at least...and not without blistering pain afterward. hmm, i guess that metaphor worked better than i imagined. so appropriate.
oh and quit being a guy and doing the whole 'let me ignore her until she goes away' mentality...man up. you've got balls, right? last time i checked, you did...so use 'em.
oh xanga...why did i ever stop using you?
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| yes, this post will be an angry rant...some drawn out diatribe to get all of my aggression out. talking to friends these past few days, i realize that i fall too easily...the real question is 'is the interest genuine or do i just want to be wanted?'...thats something i need to figure out. hopefully soon...
trina said something quite poignant yesterday...ive been with people who like to keep control of the situation...and i let them. not consciously, of course, but i do let them take control of the situation. they hold me at a distance for whatever reason and i suck up whatever crumbs they decide to throw my way. im worth so much more than that. i am an affectionate, open, loving person who deserves the same in return but i don't get that. instead i get semi-interested people who only want to be with me when it's convenient for them. fuck that.
if a guy is interested, he'll show you. i don't know why i keep making excuses for these jerks...
open the car door for me. call me. text me. regularly. fuckin A! im trying to get to know you better too! if you're interested, then SHOW ME! if you're not, then don't waste my fucking time.
so angry i am...thank god for xanga therapy...
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